What is that? A sort of seasoning or what? Somewhat crisp, sturdy drink or what?
Normalcy, Is what?
A paradox. A Hypocrisy. A myth. A cover up. An artifice.
I must be abnormal even to think this far.
How far, I am from insanity, my friends?
Or travel to some places minus baggage. A bit like few thoughts I have become dismissive of, somewhere I am refusing to fit in, to blend with.
This song has always reminded me of someone very innocent and somewhat very innocent times. I have gone back to my teen years, on and off and relived this adorable song somebody when exclusively sung it for me.
That class room, that autumn break, that awkwardness, that one person who could dare.Life has never been same after that one day.
I have missed that song, that singer- And yesterday, its composer.
Remembering Pancham! And through him, Someone I will never forget.
I hate the thought of it this way.
And I am sitting alone by myself today.
About to burst in tears, by myself.
Where is the sea?
Where is that see?
Where is He?
Where is my release?
I can touch my depression this day.
I can feel my bruises this day.
I am not myself this of the day.
I want bury me today.
Just a thought.
You want shut the people out,
close doors on situations you can’t control.
Just the way you hit the bottle quietly.
Pass out quietly.
Just a thought.
नचन्गे सारी रात सोनियो वई
This is strange, astonishing and astray fact.
Fact, what to say I feel bereft,
Guesses when they are made,
Life Is an Impression in its make.
For its sake.
I gaze at it, on every page, space.
After a long day, when you have actually made something of the day, its deep stretches, its stray magic. You seem to miss that one strong, versatile thread..comfort of home coming. That depth and that one very moment of magic, and after writing this much, I had dozed off yesterday.
Very rarest of the rare, it happens that I reach home early thinking I would work as much to my heart’s content.Then, I boot up, I sit all energized and then I sleep off happily.
Because, this is me. I remember there was a time when I could listen to my heart beats, my strong intuition about self and do things whatever told, me to me bases. Gone are the days when I listen to myself.
My question and answer to me.
Just this is it.A nothingness, A something that grips me and I do not want anything. People can actually keep their lives to them, so mundane for all I care the journey heavenly.
I keep doing my things, I keep myself at it.May be I know too much of it.May be, that too much is as well too much about it.What will become of it, I do not know , How will I manage this all, I do not know.
Some Answers are in the Questions.
सत्य नाम स्री वाहे गुरु
This seems, my days are nearing in terms of minutes, days, years. Things have started looking like a puzzle. Body is leaving grounds. I am bending deep in my own.
Nothing is making me more composed than a thought of going away gracefully. With a smile on face, and ‘karma’ on my breath. The journey is ending, I am seeing which others are missing.
The process has begun.
They go on and on .
Drain on the mind.
Too sleepless themselves,
However far you run,
They shall get you.
Pangs of dark nights surrealise.
Sometimes, it is a lonely bird, a big world and skyless sky.