Late nights , early mornings

I am touched by a chord ,
A passion and a language I myself ignore
when still sane.

But then I get sweet talked into it.
I let go.

This is Sunday , my day to organize thoughts & apartment . I don’t know why this is so necessary for me spending relaxed Sundays but again , I don’t know answers to many things in any case.

So , enjoying sun , time & thoughts.

Filling up the gaps .

गाम्भीर्य एक आदर्श वक्तव्य

एक अधिकतर मुखौटा फिर उन संवेदनाओं तक
अधिगमन का
जहाँ विचार श्रृंखला पहुँचती तो  है
पर पारदर्शिता के आगे
फिर एक प्रश्नसूची।

Small things for us , but somebody’s life depends upon it.

Usually , I  am very sorted out but at sometimes I observe things which I should not . Poverty , Illiteracy are the two grounds which till date have kept me on my toes . Have to heavily engage myself sorting out and playing around with themes. I sit in Board Room discussing million worth business but in the morning while I am drying my laundry , I come across two scrap binning kids .

Am confused for you see at times , even if I close my eyes , I can feel the pick of the question what if this were me , what if I was having no one to stand by me , feed me , educate me . Somebody for me to show the path , somebody to lead me through the massive huge plethora of life . At some point , I always find life pretty testing as to nothing seems in my clarity as to what I could actually do , what I could actually miss and above anything , what actually I might require in life to do for them . I keep going through the details , and may be have massively myself passed through the whole contemporary context myself , and if I look at the massive & grave niceties , I think I do lack that force , vigor that , or you can say charisma to bring in change , for I as well very clearly veto that this is something very intense on the fire line , where the desire and aspire has to come from with in , but do I think at age where on one hand we have pretty hi tech solutions for carrying out life , at the same end we have people asking for alms , a multi billion residential complex and these two boys no where to go . Am just wondering , how many of us sit & take note because for me even acknowledging a drudgery , its impact on some or the other human life is a statement in compassion . I lose my heart , at certain points , and when I have to answer to myself for all that , I , I come up with nothing in particular . I am afraid , I still say , ” I can’t do much. ”

At times – it is heart breaking to see Jahangir , so innocent , honest and with nothing.

वेदना संवेदना – गंभीरता
इस वर्तनी के साथ , रात प्रहर मैं जीता तो रहूँ
कई कुछ प्रश्न हैं , मुझे उत्तर नहीं मालूम।
पर मैं धरातल पर गिरा हूँ , बहुत बार
औंधें मुँह , विनती करते हुए , ” मुझे भावुकता की सादगी में ही जीने दो ,
वरना मैं चाहता हूँ , एक शांत मृत्यु।  “
* Jahangir is my Chai Mitra . He looks after our office premise , with honest smile . Doesn’t accept anything . What keeps him so content and sharing ? What makes me capable even of commenting on his social conditions ” but
कवि मन हैं बंजारा ,
नाकि बंजर

The music , tone and texture of Pakistani music .

I did bump into kind a loving the music strains that the music , well nothing much I can talk today but let me try . I think the ever best tribute would be to go hearing some Aslam’s , et cetra.

Taking advice , have some damn stuff going on in hand sort of Amitav Ghosh like . So, either I can destroy the track there , or here .

Let me go there , from here , THERE .

But why ? And WHERE ?

Am not possible . Need to talk Ghosh not Sabri , today but.

The sorts of searching for Atman !

Art Department is my favorite place to lounge from my college days , these chaps add some texture and context to my life. My expression gets an outer window , thanks to their liking for sharing craziness with me. But , now when I work next to Artisan , I find them very real lot . Its’ not like just going and saying , ” Perfect shot , ” It is like feeling , stalking that thought which they want visualized. God Bless everyone today , am thinking about ” Atman ” as in soul to see it from our Art Director’s point of view. Gosh ! I am getting sleepless till I see Atman for him .

Pray for my Atman ! I try my hand at ” Atman ” for our ” Aasmaas ” back at work .