those used to be sweet days.
raine’s home. his mom and his family.
evenings when she would throw house open for guests and her in-law family.
memories are there with me,
the well bathed green veranda,nice smells in air and
बुड्ढा घर पे है..
i mean,i hate to admit i least cared for parties but my friends in the damn good comedy show, i worshipped heartily.
i do not want return to my memories but the Umar Shareef plays became an integral part of me.
हाँ हाँ बुड्ढा घर पे है
Always there would be ways, always they would be never ending.Always , I would long to walk on them & I will.
And then, I shall be gone.
Still while walking on them.
i am simply not in grips.
distorted|disfigured and at loss.
i want-myself away
mostly from all
so that i can try to fix,
what all i have.
mostly, if i look around
and i try making out something i am not so well versed at
i fumble for words
i see not thus much harm in it
a switch off phase|
calm and relaxed in person
in mind zone|
but try, it is just that all is momentary
after a cursor and cursive of two| eventually the apostrophes shall move in
then , there and thus you will figure out
all vanishes|you call it anything
by any name
you are left cursorily alongwith the choices that you do make
they can’t be discussed too much
they can’t lie buried in you that much
they require worded too
at a point|
they are but in bits and bytes:
there are times|
i do not like people around|too much
i avoid them as what do i make of their mundane affairs|
same repeated questions|subjects of baseless discussions
those times when i am uninterested in people
most of the times
unless|they make some sane sense
i am happy|teaing myself
i have no clue
i go out of patience with people
the moment they do not perform as i want
this makes me annoyed at me too
i keep at it
what i want do|
things how i want see
make them with my hands| by heart |presence
i will not .never.can’t |change the way i walk|
from somewhere|today i fetched out my cross locket
originally blessed by Pope|Vatican
and accidentally, i was supposed to go shopping for ngo we host tomorrow
on a lighter note,
the team was giggling all day with me humming
“my father in heaven.holy be your name.!”
and i am sure my father was itching to step out of his abode and shake me hard.
why could not i instead talk:
i went back today to my Sacred Heart days.
our education in moral values|sciences making us better in what we are
i did love it by all reasons