बुड्ढा घर पे है?

those used to be sweet days.

raine’s home. his mom and his family.

evenings when she would throw house open for guests and her in-law family.

memories are there with me,

the well bathed green veranda,nice smells in air and

बुड्ढा घर पे है..

i mean,i hate to admit i least cared for parties but my friends in the damn good comedy show, i worshipped heartily.

 

i do not want return to my memories but the Umar Shareef plays became an integral part of me.

 

 

हाँ हाँ बुड्ढा घर पे है

 

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Always there would be ways…

 

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Always there would be ways, always they would be never ending.Always , I would long to walk on them & I will.

And then, I shall be gone.

Still while walking on them.

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some of the times

Sometimes:

i am simply not in grips.

distorted|disfigured and at loss.

i want-myself away

mostly from all

so that i can try to fix,

what all i have.

Intact

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hibernation

mostly, if i look around

and i try making out something i am not so well versed at

i fumble for words

i see not thus much harm in it

a switch off phase|

calm and relaxed in person

in mind zone|

silence..

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by all means|there is no harm in being happy

but try, it is just that all is momentary

after a cursor and cursive of two| eventually the apostrophes shall move in

then , there and thus you will figure out

all vanishes|you call it anything

by any name

you are left cursorily alongwith the choices that you do make

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some things are very personal|one to one

they can’t be discussed too much

they can’t lie buried in you that much

they require worded too

at a point|

they are but in bits and bytes:

personal

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i am looking out reasons|to snap

there are times|

i do not like people around|too much

mostly

 

i avoid them as what do i make of their mundane affairs|

same repeated questions|subjects of baseless discussions

i prefer|solitude

those times when i am uninterested in people

most of the times

 

unless|they make some sane sense

 

i am happy|teaing myself

 

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impatience

 

i have no clue

i go out of patience with people

the moment they do not perform as i want

and

this makes me annoyed at me too

but

i keep at it

what i want do|

things how i want see

make them with my hands| by heart |presence

and..

 

i will not .never.can’t |change the way i walk|

the path

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the cross|jesuit

from somewhere|today i fetched out my cross locket

originally blessed by Pope|Vatican

and accidentally, i was supposed to go shopping for ngo we host tomorrow

on a lighter note,

the team was giggling all day with me humming

“my father in heaven.holy be your name.!”

and i am sure my father was itching to step out of his abode and shake me hard.

why could not i instead talk:

 

i went back today to my Sacred Heart days.

our education in moral values|sciences making us better in what we are

 

i did love it by all reasons

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